OUR CONFESSIONS

Father Bonki stood from the sedilia, made a simple bow to the exalted crucifix behind the table- like altar as he passed, then hoisted himself on the wooden pulpit, to address the congregation and the new converts in particular who were seated on the new pews. That was after Pa Luke Okpara, the parish catechist, chanted the latin version of the I Believe In One God, Credo In Unum Deum. He recited and the church followed, those who had learnt to recite the prayers in latin. Pa Luke had emphasized several times the need for all to learn the common christian prayers in the church's official language, since Father Bonki Giordano could not speak our usual Igbo language. During the renewal of the baptismal promises, he read from the green booklet placed on the Roman missal, the type Most Reverend Johnmary Uzuoma read from, the Sunday he came for the dedication of St. Maria Gorreti's parish at Nkpagu.

"Do you reject Satan?," his voice hollered. Cati, as we called the septuagenarian catechist, was never used to smiling but his demeanour was always approachable. 'Today' he looked so mean and read with sombre in his expression. His displeasure was in our inability to learn the doctrines. He had taken his time to teach and let everyone understand the church doctrines but his effort never yielded a satisfying result. 

Papa was one of those who made Father Bonki's missionary work a hassle, one of those who made no fuss of Cati's words, the whole teaching sounded as strange as the practices appeared to him.

"Yes I do," the church chorused as he instructed us to. 

"And all his works?"

"Yes I do."

"And all his empty promises?"

"Yes I do."

"Do you believe in God, the Father Almighty, creator of heaven and earth?" 

"Yes I do" 

"Do you believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord, who was born of the Virgin Mary was crucified, died, and was buried, rose from the dead, and is now seated at the right hand of the Father?" 

"Yes I do."

"Do you believe in...," He continued.

Just after the brief moment of internal self examination that succeeded the renewal of baptismal vows,  Father Bonki adjusted the microphone stand so that the black microphone fitted his height. He wasn't as tall as Pa Luke so he needed to swing it down to his own convenience, then began with his sermons. His voice echoed in and out of the uncompleted church building that was still under construction. It was barely twenty-six  months since the start of the church building project and it had already grown to admirable level. We knew it wasn't going to be like that of the Holy Rosary cathedral, not with the lazy amount we offered every Sunday, which, as the catechist says, was not even enough to feed the Italian priest, but that it was going to stand out among the thatch houses that scattered in the village, that with the aluminum roof, it would house us properly in the rainy days. How Father Bonki was able to raise the building to that height in a space of two years remained a question to answer and a mystery. The nearest hearsay to the truth had it that the bigger churches in the city funded the developing ones in various villages.

He said we have become christians since the sacrament of baptism made us new, that we have become sons and daughters of God by adoption, ones who share in the same communion with Christ Jesus, and as so, we are bound and required to live as true followers of His ways.

He continued;

"The women who still go about the village gossiping with people's name should know that gossiping is an act slander. The ninth commandments forbids every act of false witnessing," he said. 

"The men who pretend as followers but still have some fetish items and carved woods or clays kept in their homes do that against the first and second commandment of God.

"Young adults and youths who still indulge in immoral and ungodly acts desecrate the temple of the Holy Spirit, they go against the sixth commandment."

"Refrain from every form of sin and live uprightly."

"Stop selling yourselves to the devil at worthless prices. Stop letting the devil use you as instruments against the good works of God." His lips formed an 'O' shape at every stop he said, with his nose standing like an unripe Udara, the days the wind blew them down.

We all pledged Father Bonki that all the attitudes have become things of the past and that we shall all lead a good christian life, the type that defines us as the light of the world. 

That we shall always as often as possible, receive the sacrament of reconciliation, the same sacrament that brought  controversy when Father Bonki and Pa Luke first taught about the church sacraments. They said it was necessary that we all go to a priest to confess our sins so that God in heaven could forgive our sins. That Jesus Christ gave the apostles the authority to do so during His earthly ministry and that as successors of the apostles and priest of the most high God, they have merited by privilege, the grace to absolve the sins of any who sincerely confess their since with a true heart of repentance. He said the sixteenth chapter of Matthew versus eighteen buttresses the practice.

Papa at first agitated against the development saying that his fellow human has no right to hear his sins for any reason. It was with grudges and deep hesitation that he accepted to follow us to the white man's place of worship, the church. He wasn't happy that he was leaving his chi, the gods of his forefathers, as he said, to worship an unknown god. He was impelled to accept the alien teachings when he saw its positive impact in the lives of his age grade union members who had broken the idols and burnt some to follow Christ. They no longer drank like they used to do and the women were beginning to take good care of their homes. I watched that evening as he walked up to Father Bonki with a remorseful look, his pace lacked alacrity. He knelt on the confessional as Father Bonki made with his right hand in the air, the sign he taught us to make by touching our forehead and then our chest, each time uncertainty befell us. It was like drawing a cross but with some brief words. "In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, then Amen with out two palm together, like in clap. He said with the sign we invite the Holy Trinity, God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit to be with us. Papa began to mutter words to Father's ears. He spent some minutes confessing the sins he committed in his earlier days, from the time he was seven to this day, the ones he remembered. I had imagined what Papa was taking so long to tell Father Bonki, whether he was going to remember the times he castigated and almost made fun of the new religion saying it was the easiest approach the cunning white men had retired to after several failed attempt to annex our home and purloin our cultural heritage, or that he was going to consciously develop amnesia, that he was going to deliberately forget some grievous sins he committed. That would have nullified his confession, as the catechist taught the dangers of hiding any sin, especially the deadly ones. I watched as Papa left the church to the chapel where he had his penance before Jesus in the blessed sacrament, the same kind those in a state of grace received on their tongue during communion rite in Masses, Although it was lager in size, we believed they were all equal in value since Pa Luke thought us to not count on the size, that Christ is fully present in even the tiniest particle, that was the reason they cosseted it when ever it was being moved out of the tabernacle. The servers dressed in the garment of the day's liturgical colour, came before the priest ringing bells as they moved. Any one walking by was to kneel until the priest passed with the eucharist. 

Papa's hands crossed together like that of the boys who served Father Bonki during the Holy Mass, to ensure that the eucharistic celebration went smoothly. His gait was unusual, like one who never stepped on an ant as he walked, like that of the Faithful when they trooped to the altar to receive the Body and Blood of Christ. 

Papa since that day, no longer hurled abuse at me the times I did wrongs instead he cautioned me in a formal manner and gave me strokes the times it was necessarily the measure. He said he felt ashamed of the words that came out of his mouth during the confession and that he was going to be careful not to commit such sins again so that Father Bonki wouldn't regard him as a casual sinner. If truly Father Bonki, through the help of the Almighty, did not remember any of the sins of a person after each confession as the catechist told us during the evening catechism classes in what he called the seal of confession, then it was baseless, Papa's fear. Papa wasn't the only one who felt that way. Others also did. Since the inception of the practices, the issues of men coveting others' wife came to a grinding halt, immorality and idolatry stopped also adultery to an extent as everyone felt dishonored confessing the same sin over and over.

© Chukwunnabuikem Ugochukwu Amalu

30/08/22